Human beings, by their nature, experience conflict. That is, none of us (on this plane of existence) is so highly evolved as to have our whole act together. We are all learning and growing. And the path of growth includes making peace between the various warring factions that often exist within our psyches.

Ambivalence is very common and a very normal human reaction. We want something, but we don’t. The challenge of our spiral of evolution is to find a synthesis, a middle position between our various drives and needs, to make room for all our potentials that is, of course, a very long-term process. However; I believe we have more than one lifetime in which to complete it.

People set themselves up for problems by trying to ignore a part of their basic nature, by only expressing one side of their potential. Where Ifá is helpful is in pointing out the issues to the client. Part of Ifá is the art of self- acceptance. Ifá views all the sides of life as potentially positive. Nothing needs to be “cut out” or rejected. Life is a quest for wholeness. When clients have discomfort or problems, examining the issues involved can help the clients to be more accepting toward their own natures. Sometimes, just allowing a denied side some small expression in their lives is enough to fix everything. Sometimes more effort and changes are necessary.

It is inspiring to see a client make an absolute turnabout in life — simply by accepting a part of who s/he is. Realizing that none of these needs are “bad” gives everyone permission to find the most satisfying paths to meeting their various desires. For many people, having me confirm that certain parts of life are naturally contradictory, that ambivalence and feeling some inner conflict is normal, is a tremendous relief!

Tags: inner-conflict, ambivalence, ori-inu

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  1. For me is vulnerability. As A child, I was told don’t depend on me. If you hungry, don’t ask for nothing. If you scared don’t show it. If your feelings hurt don’t show it. This was common for some blacks to learn to suppress everything. This in turn made me more prone to aggressive outburst and destructive behaviors, hypertension and brushes with law enforcement. This ritual has been passed on until this day in the black community.

    1. Alaafia;

      Thank you for opening up about this issue. It is a topic of much contemplation and the introspection one has to do is not a “cake-walk.” But through Oyeku Irosun, we must learn to measure the worthiness of the voices we still harbor from our childhood. We must ask ourselves what if any of the council which served us well as a child may be hindering our growth as an adult. Just as our parents faulted with us in certain areas shall we too fail with our children or those whom look up to us for leadership, advice, and council. The best we can do is identify “THAT” which we can stop from propagating forward, and promote what is healthy and liberating.

      Thank you for your visit and for sharing your experience.

      Ogbó àtó Asure Ìwòrìwòfún.

      O dábò!
      Chief Awodele Ifayemi
      Atunwase Awo of Ilobulan
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