Overly Emotional

It has been a while since I’ve had an opportunity to share my thoughts with you. I’ve been put on a long trail where I’ve met many a variety of folks looking for answers and others looking for release from torment and other pains.

The one experience which I’ve found most challenging is the one dealing with overly emotional individuals. Let me set the expectation of this article up front. It is not my intent to belittle those whom are much more emotional than others. My intention is only to share my observations regarding such modality.

All of us deal with challenges completely differently. Life can be moving smoothly, and if encountered by a stumbling block some would behave as if the world is falling all around them and that nothing has improved. Others just ask; “What is the lesson this stumbling block intends for me to learn?”.

How you chose to process challenges in your life dictates how successfully you will be able to continue to grow.

If you expect a negative outcome, you will get a negative outcome. Therefore; you can choose the outcome of any challenge you face in life.

Having said this much, I’ve observed that overly emotional individuals tend to focus on one issue they can hold on to because it helps them feel victimized. There is incredible power in this. Other times I’ve observed that these individuals have an internal timeline against which everything is measured against. Others want the results yesterday.

In an ese ifa of the Odu Eji Ogbe ifa says:

Let us not engage the world hurriedly.
Let us not grasp at the rope of wealth impatiently.
That which should be treated with mature judgement,
Let us not deal with in a state of uncontrolled passion…

I just love that last line. A person who lacks passion cannot be emotional. If you don’t care about something you will lack passion about it. Passion gives you drive. Sometimes a dogged drive and at worst a passion without reason.

I’ve also learned that most people who are overly emotional about something at times are experiencing anger. This anger may arise because they are being pushed to do something their ego does not want to do, or they just refuse to confront a reality which, if confronted will help them grow.

In an ese Ifa of the Odu Ogbe Gunda ifa tells us:

An uncontrolled temper does not create anything for anyone.
Patience is the father of character.
A person who is patient will become the master of all things…

Next time you are dealing with an overly emotional person, don’t dismiss their behavior. There is a deeper more significant experience triggering their behavior. The emotional outburst is only the symptom.

I would like to hear from you about how you have dealt with an overly emotional person. I know we all have and I think others would like to hear about your experience. If you have been able to turn the tide (pun intended), how did you do it?

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11 Comments

  1. I am in a dating relationship with an Ifa believer. One day he was yelling abusively at me for not listening to him when he asked me to send a blank email with an attachment. The yelling became so intense (to me) thay I yelled back at him to shut up. He jumped out the car, left me in an unfamiar area, and quit talking to me foe a week. The next time he contacted me he said he couldn’t deal with me because I was too emotional. Now he sends me this article.

    Thanks

    1. Alaafia;

      Sometimes an article can trigger that kind of response. It would be interesting in learning what triggered his outburst. As you may remember from the article; I submitted that fear, more often than not, is the trigger behind an over the top emotional response. You may want to have this conversation with him where both of you explore the fears behind your overly emotional behavior.

      Ogbó àtó Asure Ìwòrìwòfún.

      O dábò!
      Chief Awodele Ifayemi
      Atunwase Awo of Ilobuland

    1. Alaafia Jessica;

      Thank you for your visit and interest in Ifa.

      Please check your email. I sent you a detailed breakdown.

      Chief Awodele Ifayemi

  2. I remember seeing a young lady at a baby shower, who was angrily emotional. She reminded me of a younger version of myself. I understood her frustration, she was being over looked, and ignored by her mother. Of course, their reason had a lot to do with her hostile reaction. She stormed out, yelling, cussing, and fussing. I end up going outside a little bit after. As I approached where she was sitting, I asked her if she was okay. Immediately, she explained her frustration in detail, and I listened, then, I gave her my experience. I explained to her that I would always end up looking like the bad guy, because of my hostile disposition, and that, I was often overlooked. I didn’t want to directly tell her that she contributed to her mother’s reaction, so, I indirectly used my own anger issues to help her see that my former way of expressing myself is what caused me to look like the bad guy. I believe she understood.

  3. I liked this article. I learn a simple way of being when someone gets angry with me despite me doing my best to assist or get something done. I try to gently point out that I am doing my best under the circumstances. This is very true as I do not like to do things halfheartedly. I would much rather say “No” outright.
    If the person is thinking, they realise that the task in question could not be achieved despite my best efforts.

    Odabo

    1. Alaafia Colin;

      Thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts on this subject.

      I always ask myself the following question. Are they angry at me or are they venting? If they are angry at me then I can “own” their anger and apologize for my actions. This helps the person bring down their level of anger, and helps defuse their frustration. Then I ask them for their help. Getting another persons point of view is a fantastic way of solving an issue. Most people will say “he could have approached me differently” or something to that effect.

      Ogbó àtó Asure Ìwòrìwòfún.

      O dábò!
      Chief Awodele Ifayemi
      Atunwase Awo of Ilobuland
      Follow Me on:
      Blog: https://ileifa.org
      Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OluwoAwodeleIfayemi

  4. Hi there. Long time, no talk. I must say I have been that overly emotional person. Everyone has many different life histories, traumas, and ways they were shown from people at a young age.
    I was not shown emotional control or healthy emotional ways of being. Much I’ve navigated and learned through trial and error.
    Along with being an empath and absorbing and transfering others emotions through myself and acting in those emotions compounded my dramas.
    I would have to say listening, or being heard is important to anyone. Letting them vent and redirecting conversations so it doesn’t get too toxic. However if that person is unconsolable or abusive in its many forms may eventually learn by leaving them alone.
    Just my opinion though.
    Love and light.

    1. Alaafia Liz;

      Thank you very much for sharing your experienced base opinion.

      Communication is something that should be taught in our schools yet left to be experienced and learn successfully or not. One of the most important, if not the most important, skill set to have is “listening”, and I would add to the “active” listening. If you are really listening to the person speaking to you, you will be able to ask questions which can help you understand what the person is trying to say. Observing the person entire body gives us further insights on how they feel regarding what they are saying. Many times one will observe that what is being said is not necessarily congruent with what the person is saying.

      Ogbó àtó Asure Ìwòrìwòfún.

      O dábò!
      Chief Awodele Ifayemi
      Atunwase Awo of Ilobuland
      Follow Me on:
      Blog: https://ileifa.org
      Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OluwoAwodeleIfayemi

  5. Alafia, i would like more info on ifa initiations, and the details of what comes with it.. And how much are your readings?

    1. Alaafia Darius:

      Thank you for your visit, and interest in Ifa. Let’s establish a dialogue. I’ve sent you an email.
      Please check your email.

      Ogbó àtó Asure Ìwòrìwòfún.

      O dábò!
      Chief Awodele Ifayemi
      Atunwase Awo of Ilobuland

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